5 Reasons to Love Your Parts
It’s Valentine’s Day and what better time to think about loving ourselves than today! With everyone focused on love – loving our partner or spouse, loving our family or friends, loving our kids or pets – sometimes we forget about loving ourselves.
When I was in the most difficult time in my life – confused, chaotic, unreal, and unhappy – I had a boatload of negative feelings about myself. I hated who I was and how I felt. I thought I was to blame for all my issues that were piling up like bills on a desk in my office.
“You’re a wimp,” I would say to myself. “
”You’re disgusting.”
“You’re the fault your whole life is falling apart.”
It gradually became clear that beating myself up was not helping me feel better. I was already miserable – pulling out the guns and aiming them toward me only made me feel worse.
So, I thought I’d better try a little love. Loving myself, I learned, was different with multiple parts than it is for singletons. I had to learn to love more than just the part of me I thought I was. I had to learn to love every part of me, the parts I knew and the ones I didn’t know – even the parts who were difficult and loaded for bear.
It was a long, slow process. In order to love someone, you have to get to know them – really well. You have to listen to them and understand their stories. You have to be patient as you try to get into their skin. You have to love them even when they seem unlovable. That’s what unconditional love is.
For some us, multiple parts burst onto the scene uncalled for, so why should we welcome and love these intruders? Here are just a few reasons I can think of.
❤️ Your multiple parts are YOU. Learning to love them means learning to love yourself.
❤️ Your parts saved your life. Even in their worst moments, they are worthy of your love.
❤️ Loving your parts means building relationships with them. This will definitely make your life easier!
❤️ Your parts are filled with creative gifts – that’s why they were able to split apart in the first place! Love your parts and you’ll be nurturing your gifts.
❤️ Loving your parts paves the way for your parts to either integrate or remain separate in happiness and harmony. Keep the endgame in mind!
In the beginning, it’s not easy to embrace the diagnosis of DID or the insiders who come along with it. The healing journey takes many twists and turns as we navigate both inside and outside relationships. It’s worth it, though, to accept who we really are – all of us – and give ourselves the love we deserve!
In a journal entry many years ago, I said to anyone inside who was listening: I want you to know I’m here. And even though other people are important to me, you are the most important. I want you to come first. No one, and nothing, is more important to me than you. I love you!
Check out my website at www.lynbarrett.com and get my free ebook called DID Unpacked.
What questions do you have about DID? Any topics you’d like me to cover? I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
For it was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139: 13-14a
Lyn