Musings on Dark
Darkness has it both ways.
Darkness is Bad
On the one hand, darkness is terrifying and sinister. It surrounds me when I’m in dangerous terrain with no way out and no way forward. It’s the chaos that consumes me and the heavy cloud that smothers me. Darkness is fear that keeps me stuck and shame that pumps out black tar into every pore of my being much like my heart forces blood through my veins. It diminishes me, leaves me worthless as if dust, robs me of my personhood, trips me up, hides me from the light. I close my eyes and see nothing. Darkness is evil.
Darkness is Good
On the other hand, darkness is a place of growth. It gives me safe space from the world around that is often confusing and unfriendly. Like the butterfly in the cocoon, sometimes I emerge from darkness, new, whole, different. It’s the moist soil that covers the seed whose roots push down deeper into darkness and shoots stretch upward into light. It’s the night sky holding the moon and the stars, fireflies, night owls, lovers moving closer. It’s my eyes closed in meditation waiting for a spark of divine. Darkness is life-giving.
Which Is It?
I’m sitting right in the middle of a big conundrum. Is darkness good or bad, helpful or hurtful, friend or foe? Maybe darkness is neither; maybe I can suspend judgement because darkness just is.
Embracing Darkness
My faith tells me that light shines in the darkness and darkness never overcomes it, and I have experienced that to be true. Yet it implies that darkness is bad when, in fact, from the dark night of the soul I emerge stronger, more able, more aware, capable of joy, capable of growth. If I can survive the darkness, if I can claw my way through it, if I can suspend my fear and let go of nightmares, the darkness becomes my comfy king size bed that envelops me in sound sleep.
With most of my deep work behind me, I look forward to the evening hours where darkness gives me solace, a respite, home.
My wish for you is the courage to walk through your darkness so you may look back, one day, and define the darkness for yourself.
Be well!
Social Hangout This Wednesday!
Join JJ at Social Hangout this Wednesday, June 21, from 2-3 pm Eastern (1 Central, 12 Mountain, 11 Pacific). If you subscribe to Dissociative Writers (DW), no registration required, just show up! If you aren’t yet a subscriber, click here and become one. Fun and games for all!
Two Weeks to Writing-in-Place Lite!
Join us for our first evening, one-hour+ writing-in-place workshop on Wednesday, July 5, 8 pm Eastern (7 Central, 6 Mountain, 5 Pacific). We’ll have a welcome, short breakout groups, a Little’s prompt, adult prompt, sharing (or not) as we wish. Spend the evening with your peers in a safe, supportive environment! If you subscribe to Dissociative Writers (DW), no registration required, just show up! If you aren’t yet a subscriber, click here and become one. See you soon!
Two Spaces Left in Memoir 101
Our annual beginners memoir class runs for six-weeks in September-October 2023. Our maximum number of participants is eight and our minimum is four. We currently have six registered participants, so there’s two spaces left! If you’ve been thinking about writing your memoir and want a supportive, structured environment for delving into this difficult, wonderful work, this class may be for you. You can register by clicking here, or contact Lyn to have a conversation by clicking here.
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Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.
~ Mary Oliver
Lyn