Preparing for Cold & Flu Season with DID
Foreword: Once again, I welcome Cathy Collyer, author of Staying in the Room: Managing Medical and Dental Care When You Have DID, as a guest blogger. A licensed health care provider who was diagnosed with DID, Cathy has offered other practical posts on topics of interest to our community, including 5 Sleep Strategies for Multiples, 5 Benefits of Aging with DID, and 6 Easy Ways to Support Child Parts in Healthcare Appointments. In this post, Cathy encourages us to enjoy the beautiful weather of autumn, but prepare for the coming season of illness. Thank you, Cathy! ~ Cathy
by Cathy Collyer, Guest Blogger
The leaves are turning yellow and orange. The mornings are cooler and crisper. I know this one: autumn is in its early days. My glove and hat collection needs leveling up, as does my emergency kit for winter driving. It is time for me to get ready for cold and flu season. Not because I have a medical condition that puts me at risk.
Because being sick risks the stability of my trauma recovery.
I am more likely to be dissociative in response to illness and pain. That is how I survived. Being sick can trigger switching so profound that I can be unable to access my professional training and experience. Those who only know that I am a licensed healthcare provider would be incredulous that this happens to me. Trauma therapists would not. I might not be able to effectively help myself feel better or seek out prompt care. I won’t know how to follow directions and ask questions. This has happened; I can either have no memory of part of an appointment, no ability to negotiate with a child part to ask a question. Words could fail me, and I could have no idea how to describe symptoms. The sicker I get, the greater the chance these things will occur.
Over the years, I have learned that there are simple actions I can take that will make me feel safer and “cared for” when I become ill:
Stock up.
Even if younger parts don’t communicate directly, I know that colorful tissue boxes, cherry throat lozenges, and nose spray with cheerful images will be more likely to be used. High quality items such as facial tissues infused with lotion will also be welcomed. They are the opposite of what we remember in the past. I wasn’t seen as worth being offered “fancy things” like Kleenex, and certainly not special things because I was miserable. I can't depend on parts that feel worthless telling me what they need to feel better anymore then I would depend on a small sick child to tell me what they want or need. I might buy a new pair of super-soft pajamas, get them ready to wear, and save them to use when I feel unwell. I might even buy a puzzle or a trashy novel that won't demand much mental focus.
Firm up my assertiveness scripts.
I know that people often go to work or social events while they are sick. Avoiding them is hard or impossible in some circumstances. I usually react inside: “Why aren’t they concerned about me, about my health?” This can make me believe I am trapped and invalidated. That is a trauma reaction. I could either freeze, run away without much explanation, or become angry at them. There are better choices, choices that don’t damage relationships or risk being thought of as “flaky”, but I need to plan my reactions now while healthy or else my automatic reactions will kick in. I want to be able to accurately assess my risk and choose actions commensurate with my goals and needs.
Review my plans.
Just because I have useful and attractive things stockpiled doesn’t mean they will get used. Stuck in the back of the closet, they might as well not be there at all. I need to look at my supplies and remind myself what they do (reduce pain and misery) and what is different from the past: I am an adult, I can take good care of myself, and I don’t need to ignore my symptoms or fearfully wait to take action. I have agency. I can handle some distress without crumbling. Running through my daily routines, I can think of useful places to store some of these items (a few throat lozenges in my purse, tissues in the car). This could make the difference between panic and confidence.
I love fall. I love everything about it, except the shorter days and the coming of cold and flu season. Accepting that my trauma still impacts my current adult life is a process for me. I like the fantasy that because my abusers are all dead and I am an adult, it is just a matter of processing the past. Because I know enough about neurology to understand the “stickiness” of defense responses, I know that actively preparing for the effects of trauma on being sick will make being stuffy and achy easier to handle.
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Self-care is how you take your power back.
~ Lalah Delia
Lyn