Memory & Music
Foreword: I’m delighted to welcome G.Y.M.M.I.E. as guest blogger and active subscriber to Dissociative Writers. G.Y.M.M.I.E. says: “SPIRIT has always guided me through life. Each experience I have had, SPIRIT has shown me the life lesson in the experience. Either through word or song, SPIRIT has revealed the connection in all things.” (An excerpt from G.Y.M.M.I.E.S.’s unpublished memoir, “In the Midst, Hallelujah Anyhow”) You can go to G.Y.M.M.I.E.S.’s website by clicking here. This post is one of occasional posts by subscribers to DW who describe what it’s like to have DID.~ Lyn
by Guest Blogger G.Y.M.M.I.E (A Walking Celebration of Community)
The Expressor looked out at the people sitting in the pews. The body was of the age 8 and he had been forward many times before. Yet he was still scared but he wanted to sing. He stood there for a while getting his thoughts together, hearing the tone of the song he was going to sing in his head. This church did not believe in instruments so there was no one who would play the piano. He was a little disappointed by this for he had seen the singers in church talk music talk to the piano person. He had always wanted to talk music talk to someone. He had always wondered if others saw music the way he did.
He went back in his mind and remembered all the times he had sat by the mother’s stereo listening to different artists sing. He would be in a dream like state as he would imagine the music being performed. He would see dancers and scene changes and all of it was inspired and written by the music he was listening to. Each piece would inspire a different scenario of movement and pictures. This was his most favorite thing to do. He would spend hours listening and dreaming.
Bringing himself back to the present, he watched his cousin mouthing the words to the song. He smiled and nodded to her to let her know he knew. He really had not forgotten the words; he was just savoring this moment, this moment, where for the first time he felt real. He felt like this was where he belonged before people singing. This was a GOOD feeling and he wanted it to last.
Raising his head for the last time, the Expressor began the song low and slow. Allowing himself to get into the movement of the rhythm that he heard in his head. The church members began to nod their heads and tap their feet onto the wood floor. He closed his eyes and let the melody flow forth from the very midst of him. Oh, yes, this was it, this was how song should be shared, just the voice of one or a few, with the agreement of others. No instruments just the tapping of feet, or the clapping of hands that was this joyous type music. The Expressor made a point in his mind to find out about this type of music.
As the song came to an end, the Expressor knew that his time forward was coming to an end. He opened his eyes and took in all the people, took in all that was happening, and kept this vision for his remembrance when he would have to join the others and sleep. As he stepped back from the microphone, the Expressor let go and allowed for the one who moved the body to come forward. The Expressor caught a slight glimpse of this one. He had heard her song and knew it well. As he walked back to his place among the others, he replayed the scene in his head over and over. The music, the tapping of the feet, the singing of the song.
Beginners Memoir Class
It’s time to start thinking about your memoir. Our 2023 6-Week Memoir Class for People with Dissociative Disorders will be held on September 11, 18, 25 and October 2, 9, and 16, from 3:00 – 5:00 pm Eastern Time. You can learn more about the class and register by clicking here and scrolling to the bottom of the page. The class will have a syllabus and suggested readings and exercises. A minimum of four students / maximum of eight allows for each participant to share their writing for feedback two times over the six-week period. Each participant is encouraged to talk with their therapist prior to registering to make sure they are ready to tackle the hard but fulfilling work of writing memoir. We invite you to explore whether or not this is the time to begin writing your story in earnest. DW subscribers receive a 50% discount on the cost of the class.
April DW Meeting Canceled
Our April DW meeting is canceled. (Lyn will be crashing after Holy Week and Easter 😇.) We will meet again on Monday, May 8th, at 6:30 pm Eastern.
Lyn Speaks at Pennsylvania Retreat (via zoom)
If you are in the neighborhood of Ephrata, Pennsylvania, consider attending the retreat Resistance, Resilience, & Re-emergence: A Retreat for Survivors of Childhood Trauma and their Friends, sponsored by Safe Communities PA, on Saturday, April 22. Lyn will be speaking and facilitating on the topic of resilience. See the flyer below for more information or click here to go to the Safe Communities website.
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Where words fail, music speaks.
~ Hans Christian Anderson
Lyn