Gratitude? What’s That?
Iceplant Flower
Years ago, a friend told me that, if I would only feel gratitude, I would be a happier person. It sounded nice, but I didn’t know how to get there. Gratitude? What was that? I was in physical and emotional pain almost all the time, my family was falling apart, and I barely hung on each day. What did I have to be grateful for? I was lucky if I could breathe.
Now and then, I see posts or comments that encourage us to make lists of the things we’re grateful for. That’s a good exercise if we’re ready for it. It helps us see the light in between the shadows, the hope beyond the doom. You’ve probably even seen me post suggestions like that now and again. Today, I’m a very grateful person.
No Room for Gratitude
Yet, if we’re not ready to be grateful, if there isn’t even one centimeter of internal space to house some gratitude, then it’s a fruitless exercise. Perhaps it’s better to focus on moving through the pain until we find our oasis where something good can exist beyond agony.
Carolina Jasmine Flower
A Story of Gratitude
Back in those days, I went to a Saturday workshop on gratitude. Who knows why I went … maybe it was because I knew the facilitator and liked her. She began the morning by asking each of us to share one thing we’re grateful for. We were sitting in a circle and, one by one, people spoke of the good things in their lives, the things that made them happy, the things that implied the world was intrinsically good. “This is scary,” I thought. “I don’t have anything to say.” The sharing was getting dangerously close to me. “What will I say? What will I do? I have no idea what gratitude is,” I panicked.
When my time came and everyone was looking at me, I said, “I’m sorry. I don’t have anything to share. I’m dealing with so much pain and other difficult things in my life. I don’t even know what gratitude is.”
Cactus Flower
I waited for people to be shocked. I waited for them to shun me, to exclude me for being such a miserable person and poor workshop participant. Instead, the facilitator said,“Thank you, Lyn, for being honest about your feelings. We’re not always able to be grateful because of our circumstances. By being honest with us, you’ve given us permission to be honest about our feelings too.”
I was shocked by the love in her voice and the inclusion from the group. I wasn’t ostracized, I was enveloped in communal caring. I went away amazed and thought, “Maybe I have something to be grateful for. Maybe I’m grateful for these people who let me be honest about how I feel.”
Two Forward, One Back
Here in southern New Mexico, some days go down to freezing and others are in the sunny 80’s. We get wild winds and we can be as still as the desert night. Changes from one day to the next, all in the same week. That’s a little like our ability to be grateful. Two steps forward and one step back. Life is grand. Life is tolerable. Life sucks.
You’re Where You’re Supposed to Be
Embrace it all. Wherever you’re at is exactly where you’re supposed to be. Life will never be perfect for any of us but, someday, you’ll be grateful for life just the way it is.
Sending love ❤️ to you in this season of renewal, rebirth, and new life.
Going from “Wired and Tired” to Rested and Restored: Sleep and DID
Geranium and Dianthus
Our own DW writer, Cathy Collyer, will be featured in An Infinite Mind’s Speaker Series on Sunday, April 16th, from 4 to 5:30 pm EST. Cathy is an experienced occupational therapist and has recently been certified as a sleep consulting coach. She says, “Learn how more targeted and trauma-aware sleep strategies can improve your nights as well as your days!” If you have sleep problems, don’t miss Cathy’s online lecture! Click here to register.
Beginners Memoir Class
It’s time to start thinking about your memoir. Our 2023 6-Week Memoir Class for People with Dissociative Disorders will be held on September 11, 18, 25 and October 2, 9, and 16, from 3:00 – 5:00 pm Eastern Time. You can learn more about the class and register by clicking here and scrolling to the bottom of the page. The class will have a syllabus and suggested readings and exercises. A minimum of four students / maximum of eight allows for each participant to share their writing for feedback two times over the six-week period. Each participant is encouraged to talk with their therapist prior to registering to make sure they are ready to tackle the hard but fulfilling work of writing memoir. We invite you to explore whether or not this is the time to begin writing your story in earnest. DW subscribers receive a 50% discount on the cost of the class.
DW’s Social Hangout April 19th
Our monthly social hangout is back with JJ on the third Wednesday of each month, 2:00 pm Eastern. Go to your GroupEasy calendar and click on the date. You’ll find the link that takes you there. It’s lots of fun so plan to hang out!
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Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.
~ Eckhart Tolle
Lyn