Party!
The weather icons on my phone were a column of bright shiny suns, tempting me to schedule an outdoor summer neighborhood party. The rain has been nonstop up here in the Adirondacks and, sure enough, the sun turned to rain 20 minutes before the party began, in spite of my weather icons. My husband and I frantically struggled to put up a party tent just minutes before guests arrived. It was a lot of trouble but well worth the effort. The party went on and we – my integrated self, my husband, and my neighbors – all had a great time!
Having Fun
Beach Party by Sheri Salin
Letting down and having fun is important but sitting in the soil of despair is not the best environment for playing games. Fortunately, many of us have parts who take on that role. Often, it’s our Littles who lead us out of our pain and into the party. For me, it was Sylvia, my sexual alter.
Who Holds the Fun?
“I’m going to throw a party,” said Sylvia aloud when my 45th birthday rolled around. “Everyone else in this system is depressed or exhausted, including you,” she confided in me privately. “We have to have some fun!” She contacted friends, ordered a big, beautiful cake, and arranged a lovely party on my apartment lawn in the city in the middle of the most difficult time in my life.
Sylvia embodied all my life-giving impulses. In the midst of my deepest despair, she had moments of playfulness that made life worth living. When I was the most exhausted and discouraged, she took us dancing. When I was depressed, she found joy simply by smiling at people and making them smile back.
Loving the outdoors and reveling in sun, shade, rain, flora, fauna, and the breeze that tickled her skin, Sylvia owned both my sexuality and my sensuality. While there’s more to share about teaching her responsible sexuality (another edition, maybe 😊), her joie de vivre was a much-needed contribution to my overall state of mind. When your inner life is chaos, your emotions a jumble, and you’ve flirted with suicide, having a part of you who could leave all that behind and have fun was nothing less than a miracle.
We Have It All
Our systems are brilliant. They were created to enable us to manage the most debilitating, horrifying experiences as well as the most joyful, life-affirming ones, sometimes at the same time. We have within us all the makings of complete, whole, people who are not only resilient, but feel the full range of emotions and express them appropriately, as needed. No matter how depressed you may feel right now, somewhere inside you is someone who’s yearning to put on the dance shoes.
The summer is almost over so it’s time to do something fun. Who will help you? Get out there and enjoy!
Self-Care
If you are mired in misery, confusion, and chaos, having fun may sound way out of reach. If you’re not sure who is capable of fun, ask inside. If you’re still not sure, try having fun anyway.
You don’t have to throw a big party. You can do something small that makes you feel good. Something that makes you smile. Something that reminds you how important you are.
Maybe you can take a walk. Listen to some music. Play a game. Draw a silly picture. Watch the sunrise or the sunset. Play hopscotch. Dye your hair. Wear outrageous clothing. Cuddle a pet. Make funny faces. Laugh. Giggle. Rest. Be.
Invitation
Check out my website at www.lynbarrett.com where you can download my free ebook called DID Unpacked and receive a free weekly newsletter. My memoir, Crazy: Reclaiming Life from the Shadow of Traumatic Memory will be released on December 1, 2021. Our new Dissociative Writers website is filled with writing opportunities to explore.
What Do You Think?
Who, inside, helps you have fun?
What tickles your funny bone?
Share in the Comments below.
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”
~ Helen Keller
Lyn