Preventing Child Sexual Abuse
This weekend I attended the Child Abuse Prevention Seminar virtually, hosted by A Better Way and Safe Communities. I’ve spent a large part of my adult life healing and supporting others in their healing but have focused precious little time thinking about prevention. Entering into this world was eye opening. While I’ve often thought my own experiences were unique, research shows that child abuse is epidemic.
Prevalence
We all know that one in four girls and one in six boys are sexually molested by the age of 18. According to research statistics presented at the conference, most, but not all, molesters are male and most know the child and the child’s family. Many times they ARE the child’s family. Based on interviews with convicted molesters in prison, each molester averages two molestations per conviction but admits to 18 other molestations never reported. These figures are just the tip of the iceberg. It’s estimated that 86% of molestations are never reported and, of those reported, only one in 100 molesters are arrested. Additionally, “co-perpetrators” – people who know the abuse is happening but do nothing to stop it – often enlarge the landscape of community that allows abuse to flourish. The chart below shows that, on average, one conviction may represent 2,000 actual incidents of child molestation.
Chart Credit: Lyn Barrett
Why Do Some People Abuse Children?
Why do some men (and women) molest children? There are a myriad of answers based on motivation, willingness, and opportunity.
But the bottom line is molesters abuse children because they can.
Because they think it’s okay. Because they know they can get away with it. Because some communities accept child molestation as a norm and other communities hide their head in the sand. Because people turn a blind eye to childhood sexual abuse with victim-shaming comments like “boys will be boys,” or “I don’t believe it,” or “why doesn’t she just get over it and move on?” Because, on some level, child abusers don’t believe child abuse is wrong and their enablers don’t believe it’s such a big deal.
Building Community to Prevent Childhood Sexual Abuse
If large swathes of communities enable child sexual abuse and, in so doing, give perpetrators permission to abuse, how do we prevent this scourge on the world’s youngest and most vulnerable?
If community enables child abuse in some cases, then one important part of the solution is to build community that fights back against that norm. Instead of shaming victims, the communities we envision shame perpetrators.
Instead of ignoring the signs of abuse, the communities we envision educate one another and put safe guards in place that make it more difficult for perpetrators to access children.
Instead of throwing up our hands and saying there’s nothing we can do, the communities we envision aggressively pursue legal recourse whenever possible.
These communities — which are already being put into place by organizations like A Better Way and Safe Communities — understand that child abuse is committed by a single person enabled by a village, so it takes a village-of-a-different-kind to turn the tide of exploitation.
Educating Communities to Become the Firewall
No one wants to believe that child sexual abuse, sexual trafficking, child pornography and other forms of exploitation exist.
Are we really a people who can perpetrate such acts on children?
Yes, we are. Only if we pick up the mantle and begin to speak out about our abuse and the abuse of our brothers and sisters, only if we join forces with others who say, “this is enough,” only if we demand consequences for abusers that are more painful than permission to abuse is gratifying, will we begin to stem the tide of this epidemic that sucks the soul out of those of us who are victims.
Safe Communities works with churches, schools, and other organizations serving children to change the culture inside their walls. Background checks are not enough — remember, most perps never get reported and won’t show up on state police records. Building a firewall means acknowledging that abuse happens and putting in place the eyes, ears, awareness, and commitment to make sure it never happens on our watch.
Accountability Treatment for Convicted Child Abusers
You may ask, “why are you focusing on community, and not on the perpetrator?”
Of course, appropriate treatment for perpetrators is another important part of the solution, but only a moderately successful one. Through cognitive behavioral techniques, abusers are taught that what they have done is wrong. They are held accountable for their past behaviors and current thoughts and actions. Reoffending occurs in 15-20% of perpetrators who have received treatment and in 60% who have not received treatment. Using another measure, recidivism (repeating the crime after legal consequences) occurs in 7% of the population after one year, but in 50% after 25 years.
Bear in mind that these numbers only apply to perps who have been reported, arrested, and convicted. As I mentioned above, 99 out of 100 never enter the legal system and do not receive treatment. The likelihood that they continue abusing is close to 100%.
Self-Care
You and I may be busy healing, which is exactly what we should be doing.
At the same time, others are working tirelessly to build a fire wall that ensures other children don’t experience what we went through. It’s a big job — like taking on all the evils in the world. But our stories are redeemed each time we prevent just one child from child abuse.
In whatever small ways you can — donations, prayers, education, volunteering — join the firewall communities in your neighborhood.
Let it end with us.
Updates from Dissociative Writers
Writers Workshops will soon be available by subscription beginning in June. For a reasonable monthly or annual subscription, you can attend as many workshops and other offerings as you like. Currently, we offer one a week on Tuesday afternoons; we are looking at adding another workshop on another day. We are also considering a virtual "Social Hang Out" once or twice a month for people who just want to spend time together. Subscribers can submit writing for publication in our anthologies. Subscription fees will be minimal but will help to defray the cost of an administrator who can pick up the clerical pieces and help make Dissociative Writers Workshops sustainable.
It looks like another DW anthology may be in the works! Stay tuned for more information.
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Demystifying D.I.D: A Personal Experience, A Practitioners Knowledge
Join Jane Tambree', LCSW-C on Wednesday, June 8, 2022, from 3:30-5:30 MDT for a seminar that will address the clinical components of Dissociative Identity Disorder (D.I.D): DSM criteria, vocabulary, causal factors, assessment, and treatment options. Jane is an active member of Dissociative Writers.
"Together, we will challenge the pathologization of D.I.D. to reveal its inherent capacities to assist those diagnosed in living exceptional lives," says Jane. "With my lived experience and 37 years as a clinician, this seminar will weave clinical knowledge with an exploration of how a system of alters functions to provide skills, preferences, talents, etc. for people with the diagnosis."
This will be an excellent seminar to invite your therapist to join.
Click here for registration information.
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Jesus called a child, whom he put among them, and said, ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me. If any of you put a stumbling-block before one of these little ones who believe in me, it would be better for you if a great millstone were fastened around your neck and you were drowned in the depth of the sea.”
Matthew 18: 2-6
Lyn