From Now On …
Foreword: I’m delighted to welcome back Gabby Sacks as guest blogger. Gabby is an active member of the Dissociative Writers community and recently presented a talk on the topic of grief at the 2023 Healing Together Conference. She uses psycho-structures to embody her healing work; some examples related to grief are shown below. This post is one of occasional posts by subscribers to DW who describe what it’s like to have DID. ~ Lyn
by Guest Blogger Gabby Sacks
If Only
Art Credit: Open Doors by Gabby Sacks. Quote: “Perhaps even here there is room for new doors to open for you.” by Morgan Harper Nichols
If only…if only… It’s so easy, too easy, to get caught up in the “if only”s when one is grieving a loss of any kind. If only…I had done this or that for my friend Matt before he died. If only…I’d stayed an extra day so I could have been there when he died. Or: If only… I’d had a trusted adult in my life who I could have turned to for help when I was a child. If only…I’d been hospitalized for the first time at a different hospital and had a different psychiatrist.
Lesson Learned
But “if only”s, I’m finding, only cause more pain. They’re not helpful because…it’s impossible to go back in time and change what happened, to make the “if only”s a reality. I can “if only” all I want, ’til the end of time, and nothing in my life will have been different. I need to leave “if only” behind, just like the past that “if only” is powerless to change.
Art Credit: Hope by Gabby Sacks. Quote: “Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.” by Vaclav Havel
From Now On
If I am to move forward, I need to try something new, maybe something like, “From now on….” From now on…I’ll be proud of all I was able to do for Matt at the end. From now on…I’ll acknowledge the dignified and loving death I was able to give him. Or: From now on…I’ll work to make meaningful connections with people in my life who get me. From now on…I’ll accept the truth of my life. From now on…I’ll let go of “if only,” moving forward instead of looking back. From now on…
Upcoming DW Dates
Our next Dissociative Writers Meeting will be held on Monday, March13th, at 6:30 pm Eastern. We talk about all kinds of things that affect our workshops and the other work we do as dissociative writers. You are welcome to attend! Your voice is important! You’ll find the agenda, minutes, and treasurers reports in Documents on Groupeasy by the end of this week.
Our next Social Hangout will be held on Wednesday, March 15th, at 2:00 pm Eastern. JJ provides a safe place for you to hang out and get to know each other better, sometimes with fun games to break the ice!
Both the DW Meeting and the Social Hangout can be accessed through the standard DW link that you find on Groupeasy.
The Big Crash
If you went to Healing Together in person or online, you’re probably going through the The Big Crash right now. Some of us are experiencing body pain and exhaustion; others might be experiencing other kinds of let down responses. The weekend was exhilarating, exhausting, triggering, and healing 🤗. Take care of yourself and know that what goes down always comes back up again!
The Apology
James Freeman, Clinical Research Assistant at McClean Hospital in Massachusetts, sent me this video talk by Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues and, more recently, The Apology, which is the apology she wished she had heard from her father who sexually abused her from the ages of 5 through 10 years old. Because I believe many of us wish we had received an apology from our abusers, I thought I would share this video of the author speaking. To watch, click here.
Building Community through Art & Experiences
Jane Tambree has asked me to share this announcement: A new community will meet twice monthly to share pieces of art of any type with a select group of people who have been diagnosed with D.I.D. Each have assessed themselves to be capable of participating. This is NOT a therapy group, thus each participant is responsible for their own well being.
For the purpose of cohesion, the group will consist of up to 12 participants who are asked to commit to a 3 month period. Each meeting will last 1 hour and will focus on two participant’s submissions. The participants who are highlighted on any given day can give context and any details they choose. Any response from the other participants can be how the art piece impacted them, resonated with them, or share their own experience on the theme of the piece.
For more information, go to Jane’s website. To reach her directly, email Jane at jkt1531@comcast.net.
Preaching & Blogging
You may have noticed that our weekly blog and newsletter has more writing from our brilliant DW subscribers than usual. That’s, in part, because I spend my week writing sermons and other church-related docs and have little writing energy to spare for DW. It’s also, in part, because our DW writers do a magnificent job and deserve to see their writing in print! You deserve to see their writing in print! I am grateful they share their experiences in both suffering and healing. My half-time gig will not last forever and I hope to be back writing again in the near future. ~ Lyn
🕊
For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.
~ Aristotle
Lyn