Crazy
When I teach our Dissociative Writers class on Memoir, I talk about exposure and how publishing our stories exposes us to both emotional and legal jeopardy. Not everyone will like what we say. Our words may hurt someone unintentionally. If the hurt person was there at the time of the event we’re writing about, they may remember things differently. Often, it’s people in our own family and friend circles we may offend but, sometimes, it’s people we don’t know. We take all this into consideration when we decide whether to go forward and publish, or not.
Today, on my way to the Healing Together Conference, I received an email through my website from Lucy, who is unhappy that I used the word “crazy” in the title of my memoir. Lucy told me she purposely didn’t include her email address because she didn’t want me to write back. “Either you will take this feedback seriously or you won’t.” She considers the title “appalling” and wants me to “withdraw (my) book from sales and put out a public statement that ensures that the message is given to readers that (my) experience is unique ….” I would communicate with Lucy directly if I could, but I can’t, so here is my public statement:
Dear Lucy,
I am so sorry that the title of my memoir is offensive to you and, possibly, a trigger. I knew that might be true for others when I chose it — or maybe I should say when it chose me. No doubt about it, the title was problematic, so I posted on two DID Facebook pages and on this blog/newsletter to get feedback from others with DID about the title and how they felt about it. Some people thought, like you, that it stigmatized our coping strategy and shouldn’t be used, but the vast majority said that the word “crazy” described the exact feeling they experienced in their lives with DID. Others said that it was my story and I should use the word that makes sense to me. Still, I tried to remove the word crazy from the title and the book but, after some revision, I found that I couldn’t. I simply couldn’t describe my experience without using the word crazy because that is exactly how I felt. For years, I felt crazy.
I wish you had read the book before you emailed me because you would have seen that I dedicated it to:
The community of courageous women and men with DID
who are not crazy but have used a brilliant coping strategy
to survive the crazy things that were done to them.
So, you see, from my perspective, many of us feel crazy, but we aren’t crazy. If you have never felt crazy with DID, then I envy you. With very hard work over a very long period of time, I don’t feel crazy anymore, but there were times when I felt so crazy that I was ready to take my life. Luckily, I wasn’t successful, and I went on to experience deep healing as I hope you and all my readers will. We are all on a journey that was not of our making. Each of us is unique and has different mountains to climb. I’ve never claimed that my story accurately represents all people with DID, but it does accurately represent me. I hope that it may hold meaning for others too, but certainly not all others.
I understand that my “statement” will probably not satisfy you. I honor your discomfort and respect your request that I change my title or remove the book from print. However, Crazy: Reclaiming Life from the Shadow of Traumatic Memory will remain in print with its title intact. It’s my story. It’s true and accurate. That’s what memoir is. A slice of someone’s life that is true and accurate to the best of their ability. I genuinely look forward to reading your memoir some day in the future so that your story will stand next to mine and the many others being written. Only then will we have a tapestry of what it’s really like to live with DID.
With warmth and compassion,
Lyn
_________________________________________________________________
An Infinite Mind Speaker Series: Memoir 101
On March 10, Lyn will be leading a Sunday Speaker Series called Memoir 101 for Dissociative Writers. “Everyone has a story. Those of us with dissociative disorders often find our stories have missing pieces or lost narratives. At some point during our healing journeys, we may wish to write our stories into wholeness in memoir form …” This session is for those who want a head start before taking our Memoir 101 class in the Fall, for those who have already taken the class but want a refresher, and for those who are just beginning to think about memory. The cost of the class is $10. Click here for more information and to register.
February Events
Tuesday, February 20, 1:00 pm Eastern: Writing-in-Place Workshop (Kim)
Wednesday, February 21, 2:00 pm Eastern: Social Hangout (JJ)
Wednesday, February 21, 8:00 pm Eastern: Evening Writing-in-Place Workshop (Surita)
Tuesday, February 27, 1:00 pm Eastern: Traditional Workshop (Sharri)
_________________________________________________________________
🕊️
Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.
~ Maya Angelou
Lyn