I’m Done!
Have you ever thought, “I’m done!” with something you were ready to put to rest, only to find out you’re not done with it at all?
From the petty to the profound, I have often thought I was done with bad habits, difficult responsibilities, and toxic relationships that crept their way back into my life in their own time. I was done with emotional eating until I wasn’t. When I retired, I was sure I was done with stressful commitments and look where that got me! Integration meant I was done with triggers, right? Wrong!
Sometimes, though, being done with something is a good thing. Last week, I pushed the send button on my computer and sent my manuscript, It’s Not About Forgiving, it’s About Healing, to my editor, Sarah Chauncey. It felt good to get the hard work of writing off my desk. I’ve spent the better part of a year working on this, pulling together my thoughts, interviewing others for their perspectives, researching experts for their conclusions. It’s come together pretty well, given I had no idea how to develop it when I began. Sitting in front of that computer every day, letting my creative juices flow, took me where I had hoped to go. I’m done!
Well, not exactly. Sarah will read my manuscript several times and come back to me with several pages of observations and a full-manuscript mark-up. Her work will affirm what’s good in It’s Not About Forgiving, but it will also point out all the areas that need work. When she sends it back to me, the manuscript will need a thorough overhaul, reminding me that I’m not done at all. I will still have a lot of work to do. In my email to Sarah, I said, “No rush!” I’m determined to enjoy this break and take the time to feel done, even if I’m not.
Not to wax philosophical, but I guess most of life is being done, then discovering there’s still more to do. Healing is another one of those hopeful endeavors that I thought I was done, but I’m not. Like Sarah’s mark-ups, my healing is good, very good, really good — but there’re still areas that need work. No rush. I’m going to enjoy the breaks I get before buckling down and working again 😊.
Last Chance for Friday Night HT-DW Dinner
Are you attending An Infinite Mind's 2024 Healing Together Conference on February 16-18 in Orlando, Florida? If so, and you’re a DW subscriber, please email Lyn here so we can invite you to our Friday Night Dissociative Writers Dinner at the Laguna Restaurant. Gabby, Sharri, Kim, Suirtaplus, Gymmie, and Lyn will be presenting this year. Click here for more information about the conference. we hope to see you there!
DW Team Offers Healing Together Workshops
Saturday, 1:45-3:15 pm
Where Were You, God?" by Rev. Lyn Barrett, M.Div., M.Ed+
(will not be live streamed or recorded) Have you ever wondered where God was while you were being abused? What do you want to say to your Higher Power? Do you have hard questions on your mind? In a safe, unrecorded space, we'll share and act as support people for one another without judgment. This gathering is open to anyone who has a faith in God, Allah, Elohim, Higher Power, or any other name used to refer to the Divine.
Saturday, 5:30-6:30 pm
Healing Words by Kim Elbirt PhD, G.Y.M.M.I.E., Suritaplus
This workshop will introduce participants to writing as a healing craft. We will begin with a mini-writers workshop, then facilitate a discussion with participants and Dissociative Writers about what writing means for us on our healing journeys. Dissociative Writers now offers weekly traditional and writing-in-place workshops, a community platform, self-published writing anthologies, and monthly social hangouts. Our vision is to provide a safe space to support one another in our writing and use the creativity that helped us survive to tell our stories.
Sunday, 10:45 am-12:15 pm
Let’s Get Real – Coping with the Tough Stuff; Improving Internal Communication and Self Compassion by Kim Elbirt PhD
People who have developed dissociation and DID often have parts that engage in behaviors once necessary for survival, that become identified or are experienced as distressing, frightening or extremely disruptive to the functioning of their system. These may include disordered eating, substance use, self-harm, elopement, and suicidal thoughts, urges or attempts. This workshop will address ways to build internal communication, cooperation, and self-compassion, and provide an opportunity to develop an initial health maintenance/crisis plan and rights/responsibilities list for participants to build a foundation for addressing these behaviors/experiences to promote safety, stability, and healing within their system.
Rising Above Illusions: Decoding Ongoing Contact and Demything Perpetrator Groups' Power in RA/MC by Sharri Burggraaf
*This session has the potential to be very triggering to some attendees. Please leave the session as needed for self care. Drawing from her 30 year personal journey of liberation, Sharri sensitively unravels the complexities of RA/MC and the power perpetrators claim, making it simpler for others by unveiling illusions, dismantling deceptions and sharing her discoveries. She delves into the nuances of ongoing contact, profound impact of proximity, and exposes fear-induced covert techniques, interactions, and psychological conditioning, challenging the myth of perpetrators being “all knowing”. This gripping exploration with the valuable insights she shares of what she discovered that would have accelerated her recovery had she known these empowering truths, offers hope to unarm the power abusers have over survivors.
Sunday, 1:45-3:15 pm
Healing From Toxic Shame by Gabby Sacks PhD
Shame is a universal, sometimes useful emotion. But what happens when shame becomes toxic? Childhood sexual abuse can cause you to internalize shame, along with messages like, “I am bad” or “I am worthless.” This kind of shame insidiously infects every aspect of your adult life, from your self-perception, to your relationships, to your entire worldview. You can learn to challenge your shame-based messages and free yourself from toxic shame. In this workshop, I will share my personal journey from shame to self-worth using my psycho-structures and music, and suggest ways to let go of shame.
An Infinite Mind Speaker Series: Memoir 101
On March 10, Lyn will be leading a Sunday Speaker Series called Memoir 101 for Dissociative Writers. “Everyone has a story. Those of us with dissociative disorders often find our stories have missing pieces or lost narratives. At some point during our healing journeys, we may wish to write our stories into wholeness in memoir form …” This session is for those who want a head start before taking our Memoir 101 class in the Fall, for those who have already taken the class but want a refresher, and for those who are just beginning to think about memory. The cost of the class is $10. Click here for more information and to register.
February Events
Tuesday, February 6, 1:00 pm Eastern: Writing-in-Place Workshop (Kim)
Wednesday, February 7, 8:00 pm Eastern: Eastern Writing-in-Place Workshop (Lyn & Surita)
Monday, February 12 DW BUSINESS MEETING CANCELED DUE TO HEALING TOGETHER CONFERENCE
Tuesday, February 13, 1:00 pm Eastern: Traditional Workshop (Sharri)
Tuesday, February 20, 1:00 pm Eastern: Writing-in-Place Workshop (Kim)
Wednesday, February 21, 2:00 pm Eastern: Social Hangout (JJ)
Wednesday, February 21, 8:00 pm Eastern: Evening Writing-in-Place Workshop (Surita)
Tuesday, February 27, 1:00 pm Eastern: Traditional Workshop (Sharri)
🕊️
You have to remember that the hard days are what make you stronger.
The bad days make you realize what a good day is.
If you never had any bad days, you would never have that sense of accomplishment!
~ Ali Raisman, gymnast