As If
My husband, Ron, tested positive for covid yesterday. His symptoms are moderate and he’s on the anti-viral medication called Paxlovid. We both have all the shots and boosters so we hope he’ll come through this relatively easily.
I’ve tested negative two days in a row but have very mild symptoms, which could be covid or could be something else. The doctor told me to act “as if.” Act as if I have covid which means rest, drink fluids, don’t expose others, hunker down, and stay home.
Acting As If
I’ve found that acting “as if” has served me well throughout my life. When I was a very young woman, I acted as if I knew how to socialize with other people even when I didn’t. I acted as if I knew what it meant to love someone, even though I didn’t have a clue. As a liberal arts graduate without any training in teaching, I walked into a classroom and acted as if I knew what I was doing but I didn’t. When I became a pastor, I acted as if I knew how to preach even though I was afraid to get up in front of people and had less knowledge of scripture than most people in the pews. Writing a memoir, speaking in front of others, even leading Dissociative Writers are all examples of acting “as if” until I had enough experience to say, “I’m not acting as if I’m an author (or wife, parent, friend, leader, etc.) — I AM an author.”
Fake It Till You Make It
One of my favorite twelve step adages is “fake it till you make it”. When we do that, we’re not lying or pretending to be someone we’re not. We’re setting a goal and striving to get there. I wanted to love and be loved. I wanted to teach children in a classroom. I wanted to speak, write, preach, and lead but I didn’t know how to do any of these things. So I set intentions internally (sometimes without my consciously knowing I’d set them) and let my life circumstances carry me there.
My Most Important Goal
Ultimately, my most important goal was to heal, to be whole, to live a life without pain, fear, doom, and constant confusion. I watched regular people I admired, who seemed happy, who appeared to lead relatively normal lives. They were role models for me. As I did my deep, therapeutic work, I faked it until I made it as a person who could function in the real world. I lived as if I were healed, as if I were whole, as if I were pain, fear, and doom free and clear about who I was and where I was going. That doesn’t mean I didn’t crawl into my bed in a fetal position or experience suicidal ideation on a regular basis. It just means I lived “as if”.
A Good Strategy
The doctor told me to live as if I had covid so my body would heal no matter what’s ailing me. Living “as if” is a good strategy for a variety of circumstances. Whether we are one or many, we can live as if we were the people we want to become.
Self Care
If you could live “as if” you had achieved your goals or followed your intentions, what would that look like? In the realm of healing, what would be different? In the realm of relationships, how would they shape up? In the realm of productivity, where would that put you?
Write about your life in your journal as if your life were all that you hope for, as if your “selves” were balanced and happy. Living as if is a step toward actualizing your dreams.
DW Meeting Next TONIGHT
You are invited to the DW Business Meeting next Monday, November 14th at 6:30 pm Eastern (5:30 Central, 4:30 Mountain, 3:30 Pacific). We talk about the directions DW is taking in writers workshops and other endeavors. YOU can help shape DW by attending the business meeting. Look for the agenda, minutes, and treasurer’s report in the documents on Groupeasy. Use the regular workshop link. See you there!
Social Hangout Canceled for November 😥
Our social hangout is canceled for November. Don’t forget to attend in December on Tuesday the 20th at 1 pm Eastern (5:30 Central, 4:30 Mountain, 3:30 Pacific). This social hangout replaces traditional writers workshop on that date.
Holiday Schedule
Our schedule will change slightly over the Thanksgiving and Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza holidays. There will be NO workshop the week of Thanksgiving on November 22. There will be NO workshop the week after Christmas on December 27. There WILL be a Social Hangout on Wednesday, November 16 AND on Tuesday, December 20 (this will replace a traditional workshop). For the next two months, traditional workshops will be held on November 8 and December 6. Writing-in-place will be held on November 1, 15, 29 and December 13. If you’re confused, don’t feel bad! Just check the calendar on Groupeasy!
🕊
Normality is a paved road: it’s comfortable to walk but no flowers grow.
~ Vincent van Gogh
Lyn