Survivor Resistance
Clenched Fist with Flag of Ukraine
The last adjective I’d use to describe myself is resistant. I was trained to be an obedient little girl who always followed the rules. So when Linda Crockett of Safe Communities asked me to lead a portion of a retreat on resistance, I was a little flummoxed.
Is Resistance Good or Bad?
“What is resistance?” I asked myself. “Is it good or bad? Does it help or hurt?” Maybe there’s a whole body of research on the internet about survivor resistance. Not. I floundered around as I researched the topic from my own vantage as a person with DID.
I discovered that resistance can be good or bad, helpful or hurtful, or anything in between, depending on the context. Even psychological resistance — anyone have a shrink say you were resistant to therapy? — can be positive or negative. Typically, psychological resistance was seen as a client’s problem.That’s changing as some therapists now call resistance “interruptions” and make friends with it, cheerlead it, and respect it’s purpose in the person’s process. There are good reasons why a client might want to slow things down and honoring that may actually speed things up.
What Are We Resisting?
What, you may ask, do we resist? How about memories that are trying to come forward and we’re pushing down. Memories that have peaked around the corner but we don’t believe. What about internalized shame and fear? People from our past and present who don’t believe us or want us to forgive and forget? Let’s add religious, cultural, and societal pressures to the list. Many of us are resisting years of feeling unworthy and huge uncertainties about how to move forward. When we sort through our resistance, we can discard what keeps us stuck and embrace what makes us strong.
Resisting as Children
It started in us as children. We all opposed the forces of trauma, whether we think we did or not. If we huddled in a corner, hiding was part of our resistance. If we said no, we resisted with our voice. If we disappeared into our inner world, dissociation was our resistance. We couldn’t stop the abuse, but we could resist with the tools we had. The very fact that we survived is a testimony to our resistance!
Resisting as Adults
As adults, we’re learning how to claim resistance as a positive force that heals. Resistance, when rightly used, has the power to change lives for the better. Like a resistance army standing up to an oppressor, we are rising up, claiming our voices, and setting ourselves free. Here are some of the many ways we can resist everything that holds us back from the profound healing and happy living we deserve:
We resist the lies that were told to us as children and claim the truth as we understand it.
We resist the social, cultural, and religious pressure to minimize what was done to us.
We claim the right to forgive or not forgive, knowing that with good therapy we can live happy and healthy lives either way.
We create communities where we bond with others whose experiences may be similar to our own.
We advocate for ourselves and others.
Join the Resistance Army
The rest of the retreat at Safe Communities focused on resilience and re-emergence. These are the positive experiences that move us beyond our pain into the mainstream of the life we choose to live. But it all starts with resistance: knowing our worth, standing against negative pressures, claiming our voices, supporting one another, and making choices that work for us. Join the resistance army, speak your truth, and claim your freedom from the past!
Beginners Memoir Class
Memoir by Nives Palmic / Art Majeur
It’s time to start thinking about your memoir. Our 2023 6-Week Memoir Class for People with Dissociative Disorders will be held on September 11, 18, 25 and October 2, 9, and 16, from 3:00 – 5:00 pm Eastern Time. You can learn more about the class and register by clicking here and scrolling to the bottom of the page. The class will have a syllabus and suggested readings and exercises. A minimum of four students / maximum of eight allows for each participant to share their writing for feedback two times over the six-week period. Each participant is encouraged to talk with their therapist prior to registering to make sure they are ready to tackle the hard but fulfilling work of writing memoir. We invite you to explore whether or not this is the time to begin writing your story in earnest. DW subscribers receive a 50% discount on the cost of the class.
Thank You
A sincere thank you to Peter and Sharri who have subbed as facilitators for the traditional workshop recently. The first week I crashed after Easter, this week I had my first cataract surgery and in a few more weeks I’ll have my second cataract surgery. Thank you, also, to Kim and JJ who regularly facilitate writing-in-place and social hangout. Thanks to Sharon, Debby, and gabby for serving as core team for DW meetings (admin, treasurer, scribe). Finally, thank you to all the writers who participate in both traditional and writing-in-place workshops. It takes a village … and DW is a wonderful village!
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The history of liberty as a history of resistance.
~ Woodrow Wilson
Lyn